Watching a child get married is one of the most memorable moments in a person's life, so as the mother of the groom, special thought and consideration should be placed into finding a gown that shows off your VIP status. While the style of your look matters, the color might be the most important detail. For so many years, the old adage went that the mother of the groom had two jobs at the wedding: wear beige and be quite. Today, things are quite different.
To help you understand the nuances of dresses for mothers of the groom, we consulted with fashion stylist Vanessa Valiente. Here, with Valiente's help, we breaks down everything you need to know when selecting the color of your mother-of-the-groom dress. Plus, we share shopping tips to help you find the perfect ensemble.
Meet the Expert
Vanessa Valiente is a fashion stylist based in San Diego, California. She began her career in 2006 styling celebrity talent including Eric Dane, Rhona Mitra, Bo Derek, Morgan Fairchild, and Joe Manganiello.
Design by Kaitlyn Collins
What Color Is the Mother of the Groom Expected to Wear at a Wedding?
The short answer? It depends. In years past, the only appropriate color option was beige, which is funny considering how close it is to white. Today, the groom's mother is encouraged to wear something well outside that color family. "The mother of the groom is expected to meet the formality level of the mother of the bride and bridesmaids," Valiente explains. "Get the opinion of the couple for colors you should or shouldn't wear, and don't wear anything more formal than the bride."
Your best course of action is to ask the couple if they would like you to coordinate with the rest of the wedding party—if the bridesmaids and mother of the bride are all wearing navy, for example, the couple might want you to do to the same. If they don't have any strict color preferences, you should feel empowered to wear any color that fits your unique, personal style—so long as it falls within the above parameters and isn't white, that is.
Photo by Bre Jane Photography
The Best Colors for Mothers of the Groom to Consider
If the couple has given you free rein to choose a color for your day-of look, your final choice should be dependent on the dress code, venue, and season. In general, jewel tones and earthy hues, like emerald green and burgundy, work well for more formal events taking place in the fall or winter. In the spring and summer, lighter, brighter hues, like pink, pale purple, or light blue, might feel more appropriate. Universally flattering colors like black and navy are appropriate throughout the year.
If you're still not sure what to wear, consider the wedding's overarching color palette. Valiente suggests, "Wear a flattering color that complements the color palette of the wedding." If the entire celebration will be black and gold, for example, a gown in either of those hues would make the most sense.
The Top Colors for Mothers of the Groom to Avoid
As with any wedding guest, it’s best to avoid wearing white or any color that resembles the bride's wedding outfit. You may also want to steer clear of blush, beige, or other light neutral tones that may appear lighter on camera. "And do not match the bridal party colors unless requested to do so," adds Valiente.
It doesn’t hurt to send a picture of your prospective wedding outfit to the couple before you buy it, just to be on the safe side.
Photo by Carlos Hernandez
What to Look for in a Mother-of-the-Groom Wedding Outfit
When shopping for a mother-of-the-groom dress or outfit for the wedding, you want to buy something that makes you look and feel incredible. "The mother of the groom is just as valuable a participant in the wedding as the mother of the bride, but communication is key," says Valiente. "Don't shop until you are sure there are no requests from the bride and groom. When in doubt, wear a dress that makes you feel great, compliments your skin tone, and doesn't upstage the bride."
As you’re shopping, think about the silhouette you'd like to sport, too. Wrap styles are flattering on nearly any and all body types, along with a tasteful V-shaped neckline to help elongate the silhouette. Lastly, if you’re not sure where to start shopping, retailers like Nordstrom, Net-a-Porter, and BHLDN offer gorgeous gowns for every wedding style, from elegant eveningwear fit for a black-tie wedding to chic satin maxi dresses perfect for fall or winter nuptials.
FAQ
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To be on the safe side, we suggest that you start shopping for your dress six months before the wedding. This ensures that everyone has plenty of stress-free time to have alterations made if necessary. If you’re in a pinch, many e-commerce sites, like Net-a-Porter or Nordstrom, offer rush shipping.
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Generally yes, according to Valiente. "Open communication is key to nailing the color selection," she says. "If the mother of the bride is matching the bridesmaids' color palette, the bride and groom might request the mother of the groom to also match. But if no one has asked the mother of the groom to match the bridal party, it's best to choose a different color, but not one that clashes." Wearing variations of the same color that coordinate with the rest of the wedding party is a great way to complement the color scheme without being too matchy-matchy. The moms can also differentiate their looks with jewelry, shoes, as well as their hair and makeup.
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It's customary for the getting ready suite to be reserved for the bride and her bridesmaids. Unless the bride says otherwise, make plans to get ready at the hotel or another location. However, we do suggest stopping by the bridal suite a few hours before the ceremony—while the wedding party is getting ready—to give the bride your best wishes.
