Key Takeaways
- The ring bearer is usually 3 to 8 years old and often a child of close family or friends.
- If the ring bearer is very young, they can carry a decorative item instead of the actual rings.
- Coordinate the ring bearer's outfit with the wedding theme, considering options like tiny tuxedos or casual khakis.
While much of the focus of your wedding party may tend to fall on your bridesmaids or groomsmen, there's a crucial—and adorable—role that can be just as important: the ring bearer. Responsible for delivering your bands to you during your ceremony, this person ensures that you and your partner can participate in a ring exchange while you read your vows. However, unlike other loved ones in your wedding party, your ring bearer is a bit younger, typically falling between three and eight years old. And due to his age, it's important that you pick the right child for the job.
If you or your partner is a parent, this a great role to give to your son to allow him to be a part of your special day. Many couples also ask one of their nephews to fulfill this all-important duty. However, if you can't think of a child who would be perfect for this job, don't worry: Having a ring bearer isn't a requirement for your nuptials. Yet if you do decide to include one in your ceremony, you may have a few key questions about his responsibilities and duties.
Here, we break down just that—explaining the ring bearer's role, what he wears, and how to choose him.
What Does a Ring Bearer Do?
Ring bearers, unlike witnesses or a certified officiant, are not a required role at your ceremony. However, if you do choose to include one in your big day, he does have one very important responsibility: delivering your rings to you. If your ring bearer is old enough to move on his own, he should walk down the aisle after your wedding party and hand your rings to the best man or wedding officiant. If he's too young to make the journey on his own, consider having one of his parents accompany him—or have him walk alongside the flower girls.
Does a Ring Bearer Have to Carry the Rings?
Not necessarily. As a precaution, many couples choose to have the best man carry the rings. This is particularly important if your ring bearer is only a few months old. In such a case, instead of having him hold the actual bands, have him carry an empty pillow or a decorative sign to avoid any unwanted mishaps as he walks down the aisle. Still want the full effect? Consider tying plastic rings to a ribbon on the pillow.
Photo by Megan Kay Photography
How to Choose Your Ring Bearer
Typically, the ring bearer is the child of one of the couple's close friends or family members. As a result, he may be the kid of your maid of honor or best man, your nephew, or the child of one of your loved ones. If you're a parent yourself, you may ask your son to be your ring bearer as a way to include him in your wedding.
What Does the Ring Bearer Wear?
When you’re deciding how your bridesmaids and groomsmen will be dressed on the big day, keep an eye out for coordinating attire for the youngest member of your wedding party. And before selecting his ensemble, consider the dress code of your affair. For a black tie occasion, a tiny tuxedo is a great option; khakis with bowties and suspenders are perfect for a more casual celebration.
Make sure to speak to the parents of your ring bearer about whether they’d like you to give them guidance, or if they’d prefer that you pick exactly what you want the outfit to be.
As with your wedding party, your ring bearer is responsible for purchasing his attire. (In practice, this likely means his parents.) However, instead of giving him an additional gift, you can also offer to pay for the ensemble as a sign of your appreciation—or select an accessory that can be integrated into his look.
Are Ring Bearers Invited to the Reception?
It's up to you. However, this important question should be answered before you invite any children to participate in your ceremony. If you’re having other kids at your wedding, then yes, the ring bearer gets an invite. Seat him with his parents, or arrange for a kids table staffed with a babysitter, kid-friendly food, and fun activities. If your reception is adults-only, work with the parents of the child in question to help them find a local babysitter, as well as a place for them to watch the kids. (And consider covering the cost of this childcare yourself.)
