When you decide it’s time to propose to your partner, you may decide to go ring shopping together—or surprise them with a jewel you picked out yourself. And while much of the focus may land on the diamond you select, you’ll also want to consider other factors, including your partner’s ring size, the band’s metal, and the setting. You may even solicit your future spouse’s family members or your own for their thoughts and opinions. However, when asking your loved ones for assistance, you likely don’t expect them to criticize your intended purchase. Yet that was exactly what one groom experienced. Rather than support the custom ring he designed for his fiancée, the man’s mother made it clear that she was upset over his decision not to pop the question with her engagement ring. 

In a post on Reddit’s “Wedding Drama” subreddit, the groom’s partner posted about the tension that’s emerged over her diamond. “He wanted to design and buy a new ring that matched our preferences, and has told his mother this, but she's asked me to meet up with her soon to try on her ring,” the user wrote in her initial post on the topic. Yet the groom’s reasoning for not passing on his mother’s ring went beyond his desire for something different. “His parents had a very toxic marriage, and he said that although he's not superstitious, he still doesn't want to bring anything relating to his parents’ marriage into our marriage,” the original poster added. In addition to expressing her disappointment over the chosen diamond, the bride’s future mother-in-law isn’t happy that the couple plans to hold their ceremony in a Catholic church. “[My fiancé] refused to accept money from her for the wedding because he knew she would interfere, and she's making passive-aggressive remarks,” the bride wrote. 

After the original poster informed her fiancé about his mother’s desire to switch out the rings, she wrote that he was frustrated and annoyed. “He told her that she had to respect our boundaries and stop, but she tried to make him feel guilty that we weren't doing anything as per her wishes,” the bride said in a subsequent post. “He then said that we do keep her wishes in mind, but since it's our wedding, we ultimately have to go with what works best for us.” However, the groom’s mother’s demands only continued. “She also expressed that she's not happy with the guest list because her second husband's children, her stepchildren, are not invited to the wedding reception,” the OP wrote. “She said that her husband may skip the wedding because he felt like my partner didn't actually want his family there, and that it would be humiliating to see his family excluded. My partner had had enough and finally said that it was up to her husband, and that it was an invitation, not a summons.” The bride’s future mother-in-law later confronted her over these disclosures, accusing her of telling her partner these details before she was ready to speak to him about them. 

Other Redditors were quick to applaud the bride for her and her fiancé’s handling of the matter. “Once again, communication between the team members saves the day,” one user wrote. “Keep the united front. Y’all got this.” Some called out the mother-in-law’s behavior even more explicitly. “She expected you to keep this a secret?,” one person commented. “She is manipulative! She wanted to be able to tell him after the fact that you were going to use her old ring. Who does that? I don’t think she needs to know any more plans.”