Key Takeaways
- When planning a lingerie shower, choose a private location like a home or a rented Airbnb to help the bride feel comfortable.
- Invite only the bride's closest friends and get her approval to avoid any awkward situations with guests.
- Have fun with a theme or games, like lingerie bingo, and consider preparing finger foods and drinks.
In the lead-up to a bride's wedding, as her close friend or family member, you may attend (or host!) a number of events, including her engagement party, bridal shower, and bachelorette getaway. However, while many of these celebrations require long guest lists and weeks of planning, there's another more intimate gathering you may want add to that slate: a lingerie party. This special fête is designed to "shower" the guest of honor with laughter and love while providing her with flirty intimates and sleepwear for her wedding night and honeymoon. It's the perfect event for brides who love unique and entertaining experiences.
If you're tapped to plan such an event, there are a few aspects you'll want to consider before sending out invitations. Since this gathering is a bit more intimate, making sure the bride feels comfortable should be your first priority. Only extend an invite to loved ones that the bride has personally approved of—or that you know she would want at such a celebration. Additionally, while this type of shower requires a bit less planning than some of the other pre-wedding festivities, there are a few delicate situations that can arise without proper preparation. To avoid such discomfort, follow this expert-approved guide.
Below, we break down everything you need to know about planning a lingerie party for your bride. From who to invite to how to prepare, we've got you covered with all of the essential information. Read on for more.
Photo by Lacie Hansen Photography
Planning a Lingerie Party or Shower: What You Need to Know
The key to hosting a perfect party is excellent planning and organization. Follow the steps below to throw an unforgettable lingerie shower.
The Host
As with most bridal-related events, the maid of honor is usually the designated host for this affair. However, if she is unable to organize this fête, a bridesmaid or another close friend should take charge of this celebration. Ultimately, the party planner should be the "Samantha" of the group: Someone who knows how to throw a good party, can break the ice, and is able to make everyone feel comfortable.
The Guest List
The guest list for a lingerie party should only consist of the bride's nearest and dearest. As the host, avoid reaching out to future in-laws and distant cousins before getting final approval from the bride-to-be. Additionally, be sure to keep the guest list small, as the soon-to-be-wed will be opening up a lot of sexy unmentionables (and possibly even more erotic items, such as sex toys), which is something she may not want to do in front of a large crowd.
The Timing
When deciding on the best date to host this affair, determine if it makes sense to combine this celebration with the bachelorette party. “Bachelorette parties are the best fit for lingerie showers because they’re already known as the last hoorah or wild get-together for the bride’s closest friends,” says Maggie Rester, the founder of BASH, a bachelor- and bachelorette-focused party planning company. However, if you and the bride decide on this being a separate gathering, the lingerie shower should be one of the last parties that's thrown prior to her nuptials. Make sure to consider the time of day, as that will dictate whether you host a boozy brunch or a classy evening affair with cocktails and finger foods.
The Location
If the lingerie party isn’t during the bride's bachelorette, it should take place in a private location, such as someone’s home. Avoid crowded restaurants or event spaces where you might receive leering looks from curious patrons and waitstaff. “I wouldn’t recommend having a lingerie shower somewhere public because the bride might be opening things like sex toys, and then you have to hold onto everything that night after going to dinner,” says Rester.
On the other hand, if you’re having the lingerie shower during her bachelorette bash, the best thing to do is treat it like a house party. “I definitely recommend doing it at the Airbnb or hotel during the bachelorette party on a night where there’s some downtime,” Rester says.
The Invitations
Send invitations at least a month before the shower, making sure to include all important information like sizing, gift guides, the bride's preferences, and the theme (if applicable). If the event is separate from the bachelorette party, include an RSVP date. “Sending out invites is great because then you can include specifics on what the bride likes and her sizes,” says Rester. “You can also give ideas on what to get her in terms of color palettes or whatever she might like in order for the bride-to-be to really get the most use out of her gifts.”
Don't want to send invites? Just be sure to communicate the bride’s sizes to the group well in advance. Include bra sizes, as well as panty and pajama measurements. (Remember this: Guessing the bride’s size might cause offense, and returning or exchanging items is not something you want to add to a bride’s to-do list.)
Photo by Fine & Fleurie
5 Key Tips for Planning a Lingerie Party
Here are five additional tips to know when planning a lingerie shower for your best friend.
Choose a Theme
While a theme isn't required for this type of celebration, it can make things more fun. Choose something that fits the bride’s personality, such as a color or fabric—like pink or lace.
Create a Registry
Though registries aren't necessary for this type of party, working with the bride-to-be to create one will help guests purchase items that the soon-to-be-wed will actually wear. Include the registry details on the invite so that everyone is fully aware of what to buy before attending this intimate celebration.
If there's a larger guest list, consider opening the shower to other gifts besides lingerie, such as candles, perfume, bath and body products, and romantic accessories.
Plan a Few Games
One of the most common lingerie shower games is to have the bride guess which guest gave her what gift. You can also play lingerie shower bingo—or have all guests write down their best bedroom tip and include it with their gift.
Provide Drinks and Snacks
“Lingerie showers are more fun after people have been drinking a little bit because sometimes it can get awkward,” says Rester. “I recommend having some Champagne, and doing a toast before and after.” However, if you’re going to be pouring out drinks, don’t forget about the food. Stick to the theme, if you have one, but at the very least, serve finger foods like veggie trays, chips and dips, mini quiches, fruit trays, and other desserts.
Consider Giving a Lingerie Party Favor
While this is by no means necessary, it might be a nice gesture to surprise guests with party favors. Gift a pair of panties, along with a mini bottle of Champagne and some chocolates, to thank them for coming.
