Do Parents Need to Give Their Child a Wedding Gift?

It's a critical part of attending any wedding: Giving a gift. Regardless of whether you select an item off of the couple's registry, contribute to their honeymoon fund, or donate to their favorite charitable cause, honoring this special moment in their lives is essential. However, if you're a close friend or family member of an engaged pair, you may have already showered the couple with presents at pre-nuptial events. And if you're the parent of one of the soon-to-be newlyweds, you may be partially (or fully) funding their big day. As a result, you may be left wondering: Do the parents of a bride or groom need to give a wedding gift?

Traditionally, the bride’s family is responsible for footing most of the bill at a couple's nuptials. However, nowadays, many couples split the costs between both families—or opt to fund their big day themselves. Yet if you're a parent of the bride or groom, regardless of the agreed-upon cost structure, you're likely contributing to some aspect of the celebration. In such a case, you may wondering whether such an investment "counts" as a wedding gift toward your child? Or are you expected to give them a separate present on the day of their nuptials?

Here, we asked three experts in the industry to weigh in on this common question. Ahead, they break down how to navigate wedding gift-giving expectations as the parent of the bride or groom.

Do You Need to Give Your Child a Wedding Gift?

No. If you’re contributing any amount of money to your child's wedding—whether it’s covering a portion or all of the bill—giving them an additional wedding gift on top of your financial contribution is not at all required or expected. Investing in their big day is a gift in and of itself, according to Melissa Williams, the owner and lead planner and designer of B Astonished Events. 

However, even though the gesture isn’t mandatory, Beth Helmstetter, the founder and creative director of Beth Helmstetter Events, says most of her clients still receive a wedding gift from their parents. Yet while buying your child and their future spouse a present for their nuptials is a thoughtful gesture, the choice is ultimately a personal one that depends on your financial status. It’s also acceptable to give only your child (versus the couple) a present, says Laura Ritchie, the principal designer and stylist of Grit & Grace, especially if it’s a family heirloom or something with personal meaning.

How Much Money Should You Spend on Your Child’s Wedding Gift?

If you do decide to buy your child and their future spouse a wedding gift, Ritchie recommends a price range of $50 to $150 as a general guideline. However, the amount of money that you spend on the present ultimately depends on the amount you’ve already contributed to the wedding, your financial situation, and your personal preference.

How to Choose the Best Wedding Gift for Your Child

Wondering what to get your child and their future spouse in honor of their big day? Here are some general guidelines to keep in mind when picking out their present.

Consider Monetary Gifts

Although you’re likely already invested a significant amount of money in the couple’s wedding, giving them a monetary gift will help them build their new life together. Whether it’s a check made out to the couple to stock their new home or a contribution to their honeymoon fund, money will help relieve some of the financial burden that typically comes with entering this new chapter. Again, it doesn’t have to be an exorbitant amount—even a little bit will go a long way.

Plan an Experience

If your child and their future spouse are excited about their honeymoon, Williams suggests paying for an activity on their trip like dinner on the beach or an adventurous excursion. You can also gift them an experience that they can use at a later date, whether it’s a private cooking class or concert tickets to their favorite band.

Gift Something Meaningful

The best wedding gift is one with sentimental value—something that your child and their future spouse will cherish forever, according to Ritchie. Family heirlooms, such as your mother’s tennis bracelet for your daughter to wear on her wedding day, are filled with a sense of history and meaning. Custom gifts are also extremely thoughtful. For example, consider a framed wedding photo, a bottle of Champagne made in their wedding year, or monogrammed linens.

Prioritize Functionality

Since your child and their future spouse are about to start a new chapter together, Williams advises thinking about their needs. Consider items that they’ll use on a daily basis, such as an espresso machine or plush robes. Some other no-fail gifts are new linens, a nice flatware set, or upgraded cookware.

Coordinate With Your Child’s Future In-Laws

Consider coordinating with your child’s future in-laws to split a big-budget wedding gift. That way, you can pool your resources together to splurge on something grand. “If the gift is really expensive or monumental, a group gift is a great idea,” Ritchie says. That might look like covering the cost of the couple’s honeymoon or paying for a future weekend getaway.

When to Give Your Child a Wedding Gift

There isn’t a hard-and-fast rule that dictates when to give the couple their gift; it ultimately depends on your own personal preference and schedule. If you want to watch the pair open their present, set aside a private moment a night or two before the wedding, Ritchie says. Helmstetter says you can also opt to ship the package to their home around the wedding date. If you plan on giving them cash, you can slip your gift into the card box or hand it off to them during a quiet moment on the big day.