Bride's Future Mother-in-Law Keeps Comparing the Couple's Wedding to Her 1990 Nuptials—And No One Can Take It Anymore

The wedding planning period can be a wonderful opportunity to forge or strengthen the bond you have with your future mother-in-law—including her in pre-nuptial events and rites of passage, talking to her about her dreams for her child's wedding, and asking for her opinion on things like cake flavors and flowers can help the two of you build an even better relationship. Unfortunately, though, wedding planning can also have the opposite effect on a relationship between a groom's mother and his future bride, creating a divide between the two women. For one Reddit user, the latter experience is the one she's going through.

In a post titled "My future MIL won't stop talking about/comparing her wedding to ours," an unhappy bride-to-be detailed how her soon-to-be husband's mom has seemingly made some of the most special days of the wedding planning journey all about her. "First example: I (F27) went dress shopping with my mom, my MOH and future MIL. The entire dress appointment she was talking about her own wedding, her own dress, even so far as showing the woman helping me pull and try on dresses photos of her dress from 35 years ago," the bride noted. "The store rep was like 'ok cool, but we’re trying on dresses for her today.' My own mom was so annoyed by the end of it. She felt that a day that was supposed to be exciting and about my upcoming wedding was made all about her."

The bride went on to say that while she understood where her mom was coming for, she didn't "feel that way in the moment." That being said, she also noted that she's "gotten to a point where it’s not worth spending energy being annoyed by my MIL," so it's possible she's just been tamping down her own feelings. Now, she's looking at this experience—and others before and after it—through fresh eyes and is beginning to worry that her future mother-in-law will be hyper-critical over every wedding detail that is different than what she did on her own big day in 1990. "After some more thought though I’m so worried that on the day of our wedding, absolutely every minute detail will be compared to her wedding," the bride bemoaned.

The original poster also noted that the groom's mother keeps reminding the couple that she and her husband paid for their wedding themselves, neglecting the fact that it was over 30 years ago. "They’re also not really providing us with any financial help, that’s all coming from my side of the family," the bride noted.

Ultimately, the bride admitted she just took to Reddit to vent, and said that she understands her mother-in-law isn't the worst one she could end up with. "In the grand scheme of things, she’s by no means the worst MIL," the bride said. "I know she means well and is excited for us. She’s just overbearing and can be self centered."

Reddit users were quick to share their advice: "Sounds like she sees your wedding as an opportunity to relive her own. You'll have to decide where to draw the boundary," one poster responded. "If you want to say something gentle, you could tell her "I would actually love to hear all about your wedding at some point—but right now I'm so focused on my own wedding it would be so helpful to me if you could be weighing in on these dresses."

Others commended the bride-to-be on recognizing the situation and handling it with grace. "Oh wow, she sounds like she’s stuck in her main character era! It’s so frustrating when someone hijacks a special moment that’s meant to be yours," a poster said. "You have an amazing perspective, though, recognizing she’s not the worst, just overbearing. Keep focusing on your joy, set gentle boundaries if you can, and remember: this is your day, not her nostalgia tour. You’ve got this!"