Key Takeaways
- One couple planned a dry wedding out of respect for the conservative, religious values both families share.
- The bride secretly hired a bartender and offered a cash bar option to around 75 of the 300 guests in attendance; she kept her new husband and both sets of parents in the dark about the decision.
- In the end, she made just over $2,000, which she planned to put toward the catering bill.
- Both families found out about the cash bar and were livid, calling the bride "selfish and manipulative."
Though it's typical to see an open bar at a wedding, offering an unlimited selection of beer, wine, and spirits is not a requirement. Some couples choose to offer a limited selection of drinks, signature cocktails only, or else forgo the bar entirely. When the latter is the case, it's a decision that's generally made after careful consideration, and it's often (though not always) because one or both partners doesn't drink or out of respect for family or religious values. For one recent bride and groom, the decision to host a dry wedding, or one without any alcohol, came down to honoring the conservative values both families share. However, the bride-to-be had plans of her own.
According to a post on Reddit's /AITA subreddit, one bride detailed how she "secretly" sold alcohol at her dry wedding, keeping her husband, both sets of parents, and the majority of their 300 guests in the dark. "My husband (29M) and I planned a pretty big wedding—about 300 guests. It was beautiful, honestly a dream," the recent bride wrote. "There’s just one thing: our families are super conservative and very religious, so we told everyone it would be a dry wedding (aka, no alcohol). That decision kept the peace with our parents and extended family."
Photo by Valorie Darling Photography
Instead of fully honoring the decision, though, the bride decided to set up a private bar for a select number of guests to visit. "As we all know, wedding are expensive and we were footing most of the bill ourselves. I saw an opportunity and took it," she explained. "I hired a licensed bartender friend of mine to set up a 'VIP bar' hidden at the venue (it was at a large event hall with a garden and private side rooms). I gave a heads-up to about 75 of our younger friends and more chill cousins, and basically had them pay for drinks—think wedding speakeasy."
The drinks, she noted, were affordably priced—$5 for a beer, $8 for a cocktail—and guests were happy to pay because open bars are "rare" at weddings in their circle and they "thought it was kinda fun." All in, the bride made over $2,000—plus additional tips for the bartender—that she used to cover some of the catering costs.
Unfortunately, word got out and both sides of the family are upset that the bride served alcohol during the celebration. "My mom is livid. She says I lied to everyone, disrespected the family, and made a 'mockery of our values,'" the bride wrote. "My MIL also called me 'manipulative and selfish.' But honestly, most of our guests didn’t even know it happened, and the ones who did loved it. We didn’t force anyone to drink. We just gave the option discreetly." As for her new husband? The bride notes that he's "kind of in the middle," and he wishes that she had told him before the big day.
Reddit users chimed in that they do see a problem with how the bride acted—though it has nothing to do with upsetting the parents on either side of the aisle. "I was SO on board with you! This was a great idea…. Until you neglected to inform your spouse!!!!" one user wrote. "If you both had agreed then frankly I’d say your conservative family’s opinions don’t matter, BUT your spouse’s does!!!" Another added, "The speakeasy idea itself is genius—you accommodated both conservative family and modern friends while offsetting costs. But keeping this from your husband set a bad precedent. Marriage means facing family drama together, not making unilateral decisions to avoid tough conversations."
