When you decide to propose to your partner, there’s a fair amount of pre-engagement planning you’ll need to do. In addition to picking out the spot where you'll pop the question and ensuring your partner’s calendar is cleared, you’ll also need to select a ring. And while your future spouse may have already hinted at (or even told you about) the ring they want, you also may opt to turn to a family heirloom. One man recently did just that: After coming into possession of his late grandmother’s ring, he wanted to propose to his girlfriend with it. However, while he may have found the jewel special and sentimental, his fiancée wanted something a bit different—and said just that.

In a post on Reddit’s “AITAH” subreddit, the user posted about the couple's conflict over the ring. “I received my late Nana's engagement from my Mum,” the original poster wrote. “It is nothing spectacular; very simple, small and dainty. 9k gold with a small natural diamond and imitation plate. I polished it myself, proposed to my now fiancée and all went well.” However, soon after the engagement, his fiancée’s feelings on the jewel shifted. “She went cold and moody until it became [too] much for me and I prompted a serious ‘sit down’ conversation to figure out what was wrong (I love to talk through issues.),” he said. “She told me that she didn't like the ring and that she wanted me to buy a new one. I asked why and she told me that the gem in the centre was too small, she didn't like the imitation plate and that she was embarrassed to be wearing it and showing people.” The OP was taken aback by her disclosure. “I said that it was my Nana's and that it meant a lot to me,” he wrote. “She said that because it wasn't her family she did not share that sentiment. I'm very hurt by this.”

While the man’s fiancée may want a new diamond, it’s unclear whether or not she’ll actually get one from him, as the user wrote that he found such an ask “shallow” and “superficial.” “It has [been] made worse by her behavior leading up to the discussion, I thought she was regretting saying yes or something else was wrong.. she said she just wanted me to ask so she didn't have to tell me,” he said. “We have been together [for] 10 years, and I thought she didn't care about superficial things like the size of a diamond.. particularly when I had something I thought was very special. I don't know what to do.. but I wanted to make sure I didn't do the wrong thing?” 

Even though some of his fellow Redditors expressed sympathy for his plight, most sided with his fiancée on the matter. “I understand both sides,” one person wrote. “I get how you feel. It’s sentimental and hopefully will be carried down. I get how she feels because jewelry is very personal. Especially rings like that meant to be worn all the time forever.” Others noted that nine-karat gold is one of the lowest percentages of the precious metal, so even though the ring may be special to him, it may not be very high-quality. “She’s the one that has to wear it all the time, of course she wants something her style,” one Redditor added. “And honestly this just screams cheap and [that you] gave it because it [costs] nothing. Is 9k even actually gold???”