If you've been asked to be part of someone's bridal party, you likely already know that accepting this role means you're agreeing to both a huge honor and a significant financial investment. Between events like the bridal shower and bachelorette party and fixed costs like hair and makeup and accommodations, being someone's bridesmaid can be pretty costly. Another line item that you'll have to consider? Your bridesmaid dress.
That begs the question: Who is typically responsible for covering the cost of the bridesmaids' dresses? Should the bride pay for all of the bridal party's looks, or do the bridesmaids buy their own gowns? Who should foot the bill for alteration costs? And what happens if one of the attendants doesn't have the budget for her attire? If you've been asking yourself these burning questions, know that you're not alone.
Everything related to what the bridal party pays for (and doesn't!) can get tricky, so we asked Diane Gottsman, a national wedding etiquette expert and author and the founder of The Protocol School of Texas, to weigh in on all of your burning bridesmaids' dress questions. Here, the pro breaks down who traditionally pays for bridesmaids' dresses, the average cost of attire, and what to do if the price of a gown just isn't in the budget.
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Who Pays for the Bridesmaids' Dresses?
Old-school rules regarding who pays for bridesmaids' dresses have gone out the window. If the bride can afford to, it's a very thoughtful gesture for her to pay for the dress or a portion of the cost for each of her bridesmaids, especially if she chooses something very costly.
While generous, that's still an exception to the norm. Generally speaking, bridesmaids are expected to pay for their own dresses and accessories; they may also be required to foot the bill for hair and makeup appointments and transportation to the wedding. According to Gottsman, bridesmaids should be prepared to cover the costs for these expenses once they accept the offer. That being said, it's the bride's responsibility to let everyone know about all upcoming financial responsibilities from the get-go, and bridesmaids should be honest and upfront if they'll be under a monetary strain.
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How Much Do Bridesmaids' Dresses Typically Cost?
Given the various expenses your bridesmaids will be taking on in the lead-up to your wedding, it's essential that brides carefully consider the cost of the bridesmaids' dresses as well as everyone's heights and body types when choosing wedding-day ensembles. Gottsman says bridesmaids' dresses can range anywhere from $100 to upwards of $800. "It all depends on how lavish the wedding is, and the stores you go to shop," she notes.
As you browse gowns, choose styles that are flattering, comfortable, and within an agreed upon budget. The cost of being a bridesmaid is often at the heart of any conflicts that may arise between brides and their attendants, and the last thing you want is for your bridesmaids to be upset or frustrated about having to shell out a ton of cash on a dress they will never wear again.
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What If a Bridesmaid Can't Afford a Dress?
If a member of the bridal party isn't able to foot the bill for the bridesmaid dress, etiquette says that the engaged couple should step in to help cover the cost and work that expense into their wedding budget, if possible. However, this should be a private matter so that the other bridesmaids don't feel slighted.
It's also helpful if the bride picks a bridesmaid dress as early as possible so that each of the 'maids will have the maximum amount of time to save up for the gown. You can also see if the store selling the gowns offers a payment plan. Alternatively, opting for mismatched bridesmaids' dresses opens up a whole new world of options: If the bridesmaids are each selecting different gowns within the same color scheme, it's also likely easier to find a pretty, flattering style that doesn't break the bank. "You get to be more flexible," says Gottsman. "Or, someone might already have one hanging in their closet that fits the bill perfectly."
If all options have been exhausted and you're still at an impasse, the bridesmaid may need to take on a different role within the wedding. She could give a reading at the ceremony or help greet guests, which will make her feel involved without having to splurge on a pricey dress.
