What to Write in a Wedding Card, According to an Etiquette Expert

You're ready for your loved one's nuptials. You've secured your ensemble for the big day, purchased a gift off of the registry, and even selected a card in which to write wedding wishes. But as you sit down to pen a loving message to the newlyweds, you're suddenly hit with a wave of writer's block. How can you possibly sum up your excitement and love for the happy couple in just a few short sentences? What can you say that will truly articulate what you see in their partnership? How can you express your gratitude for being asked to take in this special moment with them?

In addition to finding the right words to congratulate the happy couple on their milestone, you also may be struggling with what's considered appropriate or proper etiquette. Is there anything you should completely avoid saying? Where should you even place your card when you bring it to the ceremony? How do you ensure that it's received by the newlyweds? To start, know that what you write will likely depend on your relationship with the couple. For example, if you're the bride's brother, you may include a message or two recounting the first time you met her partner at Thanksgiving in the note.

However, if you're a distant relative or a coworker of the groom, you may opt for a more generic message that wishes the duo well. Neither approach is wrong; it's about finding the wedding wishes that make the most sense for you and your relationship to the couple. Here, Myka Meier, an etiquette expert and the founder of Beaumont Etiquette, explains the proper protocol for writing wedding wishes in a card. Plus, we provide 35 examples to inspire your own note.

Key Things to Remember When Writing Wedding Wishes

Before you officially put the pen to the card, you'll want to keep a few things in mind. Here, Meier explains the key elements to consider.

Mention Both Names

Regardless of your relationship to the couple, address the card to both of them. "If you know the bride, don’t make the mistake of addressing something very personal to just her," says Meier. "Now that she is married, the contents of the card should be relevant to both of the newlyweds."

Avoid Being Generic

Even if the card includes a pre-written message, make sure to personalize it. "Never just sign your name under a Hallmark message," says Meier. "If you’re short on words, say that in your writing. Try: 'I found this card, and these words were exactly how I felt.' That gives added emphasis to the card itself."

Use Humor Sparingly

Remember that sarcasm on paper can be hard to read. Avoid topics that could be particularly sensitive to the couple, such as money or the length of their relationship. And though it should go without saying, no divorce jokes.

Don't Be Afraid to Get Personal

If you're close with the couple, make the card more personal. Consider including a memory that you have of the duo. Maybe you recount how your friend discussed their partner after their first date or the time when you were first introduced to them.

35 Wedding Wishes to Write in a Card to the Newlyweds

Need some inspiration for what wedding wishes to write in your card to the happy couple? Consider some of the phrases below to help guide your pen.

Formal Wedding Wishes

• Congratulations on your wedding day! Wishing you a lifetime of health and happiness.
• May your marriage be filled with success and happiness.
• May you live happily ever after.
• Wishing you endless love and happiness.
• May everything that comes next be as filled with joy as this day is.
• Today is the start of the rest of your lives.
• Cherish every moment with each other.
• When the going gets tough, remember this special day.
• Congratulations on your special day. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of it!
• A lifetime of love lies ahead.
  

Casual Wedding Wishes

• It's been a joy adventuring with you. Here's to many more years!
• I couldn't be happier for you two.
• I'm so happy for you both.
• I'm so grateful to celebrate this moment with you.
• Your love inspires me every day.
• What a day! I'm so honored to celebrate with you two.
• I love your love.
• Best wishes!
• So proud of your two. (I knew you could do it!)
• Here's to you tying the knot!

Religious Wedding Wishes

• Many prayers for a happy and healthy union.
• May God bless you and grant you all of life's joys together.
• Blessing on your nuptials.
• May God bless your union.
• "Do everything in love." 1 Corinthians 16:14
• "Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." Ephesians 4:2
• "Love yesterday, today, and forever." Jeremiah 31:3
• "Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves." Romans 12:10
• Love is the greatest blessing.
• Your marriage is such a blessing. Cherish it.

Wedding Wishes for Family Members

• Welcome to the family! So happy to have you on our team.
• Our family just got a little bit bigger—and better.
• We're so excited that you're the newest addition to your family.
• This is truly a wonderful day for our family.
• I still remember the first time we met you, and my love for you two as a couple has only grown since then. Congratulations!
  

How to Deliver a Card With Wedding Wishes

Now that you've written a beautiful card, you'll want to ensure that its delivered properly. When you have a note to give to the newlyweds, here's how to ensure they receive—and appreciate—it.

Bring Your Card to the Ceremony

Meier recommends bringing a card to the wedding—even if you're already sent a gift or contributed to the honeymoon fund. "It’s a nice gesture that shows gratitude for being invited," she says. If you've already sent a gift, you can note that. "I would write in the card: ‘We hope you enjoy the gift we sent to your home,'" she says. 

Hand It to the Right Person

Place any card on the gift table or in a card box. However, if you don't see one, ask the wedding planner or venue manager where to place the note, and they'll make sure to put it in the correct spot. No event professional on hand? Give your card to one of the fathers of the couple, or the best man. "The reason has nothing to do with gender," Meier says. "It’s about what they would be wearing. They would likely have a suit with pockets, whereas the mothers or maid of honor likely have a tiny evening purse or no pockets at all."

Address It Properly

Unsure of how the couple will be handling last names? There’s an easy workaround: Address the envelope with “To the newlyweds,” “To the Mr. and Mrs.,” “To the Mr. and Mr.,” or “To the Mrs. and Mrs.”

Opt for a Check

While you may not see much of a difference in including a check versus cash, there is one. "If cash gets misplaced, that’s it," says Meier. "But if you give a check, you can track it. If you see, two months after the wedding, that the check has not been cashed, you can make sure the couple received it."

Send a Card Even If You Can't Attend

If you’re invited to the wedding but are unable to attend, mail your card anytime between when you receive your invitation and a few weeks after the big day. Ultimately, there’s no time limit on telling a couple how happy you are for them.