How to Write Simple Wedding Vows, According to Officiants

When it comes to your wedding ceremony, there are a number of different elements to plan for. In addition to figuring out your seating arrangements, you'll also need to select the music and the readings. However, there's arguably one portion of this event that's more important (and more sentimental) than every other aspect: your vow exchange. As you say your promises to your partner, you're proclaiming your love and commitment to them in front of your closest family and friends. Yet, with so much emphasis put on this aspect of the ceremony, it can often feel stressful and overwhelming. How can you be sure that your words will be sentimental, heartfelt, and personal? As a result, you may assume that your assurances to your partner need to be long and complicated, but that's not necessarily the case. Oftentimes, simple wedding vows are some of the best ones.

"You don’t need 30 minutes to have a meaningful moment," says Rev. Roxanne Birchfield, a wedding officiant. "You need intention. You need presence. And you need a professional who can deliver depth with elegance in a matter of minutes." Even if you want to write your own simple wedding vows, you can still work with an officiant to craft ones that fit the moment. You can also opt to pen them entirely on your own. When working on these words, focus on what you want to convey to your partner in this moment. How do you want them to feel? What are the most important things you want them to know? What do you want to promise them?

By answering these questions, you'll help guide yourself in the writing process. However, if you're still looking for more guidance, as well as examples of simple wedding vows, read on. Here, the experts break down everything you need to know about crafting these important promises.

How to Write Simple Wedding Vows: 5 Key Steps

Before you begin jotting down your feelings, it's important to understand the basic template most simple wedding vows follow, as highlighted below. "Skip the novel, speak from the heart," Birchfield says. "Think: 'This is what I love about you. This is what I promise you.' That’s it."

Say "I Love You"

Let’s start with the basics: Before you delve into the specifics of your vows, tell your partner that you love them.

Explain How Your Parter Has Impacted You

When someone special comes into your life—especially if they're the love of your life—they change you. Take a moment to consider their impact on you. How have they made you a better person? How have they supported you through the challenges and obstacles of life?

Share an Anecdote

To add a personal touch to your simple wedding vows, tell a short story about how you met, the moment you realized you were in love, or a special time you two shared together. Remember: Not everyone at your nuptials may know all of the details of your relationship. Even with simple wedding vows, prioritize giving them a peek into your past (and current) life with your partner.

Make Your Promises

As you make promises to your partner, think about what makes sense for you and your relationship. In addition to the traditional words that cement your intent to love, honor, and cherish them, simple wedding vows can also mention things that align with your life together, such as spending quality team cheering on your favorite team, watching your partner's favorite TV show with them, or always giving them a kiss before leaving for work in the morning.

Thank Your Partner and Look to the Future

Alex Perez, a wedding officiant, recommends asking yourself three key questions to guide your closing words: What will you bring to the relationship journey? What promises can you offer? Where do you see the road ahead for the two of you? Focus on being optimistic, caring, and honest.

3 Key Tips When Writing Simple Wedding Vows

Looking for even more insights from the experts? Keep these key tips in mind as you write your simple wedding vows.

Consider Hiring an Officiant

Stuck on what to say? Consider hiring an officiant to help guide your vows. "An experienced officiant can distill your love story in as little as 30 to 90 seconds of poetic, personal, goosebump-worthy language, without losing the luxury and depth," Birchfield says.

Discuss the Format Ahead of Time

Even though you may not want to reveal the contents of your vows to your partner before the ceremony, you should discuss the structure. "When writing vows, especially ones that are short and sweet, I think it’s important for couples to first discuss a format or style they would like," says Jimmie Berguin, a wedding officiant. "I always ask my couples specifically if they will be reading their own vows or having me write some to perform in a 'repeat after me' style. This will set the tone."

Ditch the Fluff

If you're focused on writing simple wedding vows, it may feel as though you're not saying enough. That's not necessarily the reality. "Short doesn’t mean shallow," Birchfield says. "It means you’ve trimmed the excess and kept only what matters. That’s luxury: not more, but meaningful."

Simple Wedding Vows: 3 Expert-Approved Examples

Looking for some inspiration for crafting your own simple wedding vows? Here, Berguin offers some examples to inspire your own words.

The Adventure of Life

I vow to be your partner in every adventure, from Mountain peaks to those quiet mornings at home. I promise to laugh with you in all of the wild moments, and hold your hand through every single twist in the trail.  No matter where the road leads, my heart will always find home with you. When it comes to the two of us, life is my favorite journey, and our love is the greatest destination. Today, tomorrow and forever - I choose you. To be my compass, my other half, and my forever. 

The Magic of Fate

To my love, my best friend, and my favorite person: today I choose you as my one. I vow to dance with you in the quiet, and sing with you in the storms. Fate led us to each other all those years ago. As Taylor Swift sang, "Al’s well that ends well, to end up with you." You are my lover. I will be by your side when you trip on the dance floor, and laugh every time you tell the same jokes over again.  I choose you without pause, without doubt and without end. Forever with you is the best choice I’ve ever made. I love you always.

Choosing You Always

My love, I promise to choose you every day.

You are my reason now, and always.

I promise to be the best partner I can be,

And to grow with you forever.

I take you as my partner,

With my whole heart and whole being.

Thank you for choosing me to be yours,

And for loving me genuinely.

No matter what hardships we face,

I will be there every step of the way.

I love you today, tomorrow, and for infinity."