Key Takeaways
Decide if one or both of you will give the toast to streamline and focus your speech delivery.
Express gratitude to specific guests like parents, friends, and the wedding planner who contributed to your day.
Practice your speech beforehand and consider the setting, like if you'll use a microphone, for smoother delivery.
You’ve said “I do,” exchanged rings, and sealed your union with a kiss. However, even though this moment—the one when you officially become newlyweds—is about you and your partner, you’re also likely feeling grateful for the support of your loved ones. Maybe your parents played a key role in helping you orchestrate your big day, or your best friend was the one who introduced you to your future spouse. As a result, you may want to thank them for being there and supporting your partnership—but when, and how can you do so?
While there’s no denying the importance of sending a thank-you note for any gifts received at your nuptials, a reception toast given by you or your partner is another way to express your gratitude. Typically, the best man, maid of honor, and the couples’ parents give toasts or speeches during the reception. However, nowadays, many couples also opt to say thank you to their guests, families—and each other. “Most weddings take a village—not just to plan but to celebrate, too,” says Colin Sweeney, a speechwriter and the founder of Tinseltown Toasts. “So whatever kind of support you’re inclined to thank people for—financial, emotional, logistical—you’ll also likely want to thank the guests generally, too. They traveled to be there, maybe across oceans or maybe from the other side of town. Which means they’ve chosen to spend their time and money to be there in support of you and your marriage.”
Even if you’re not the most confident public speaker, giving a toast as a newlywed is easy with these thoughtful tips from Sweeney. Read for more.
How to Give a Newlywed Toast: 6 Steps to Follow
Looking for a step-by-step template on what to say before standing up in front of all of your wedding guests? Here, Sweeney gives you some guidelines to follow when raising your glass.
Decide Who Will Speak
While both you and your partner can give a toast, it’s often best if just one person speaks. Make sure to decide whether one or both of you will share remarks before you stand up in front of your friends and family.
Think About Who You Want to Thank
Newlywed speeches are a great opportunity to say thank you to anyone who helped you bring your dream day to life. Focus on a few people you may want to mention by name. Sweeney suggests thanking anyone who has “helped on the budget side of things and or with the planning itself.” If friends or family members have contributed their time or talents to your wedding, make sure to express your gratitude to them. You may also want to include your wedding planner and, of course, your new spouse in your remarks.
Don’t Wing It
While you may be inspired to go off the cuff in your speech, Sweeney says it’s best to do some prep work. Write down what you plan to say, or, at the very least, an outline. “When you get up and see all these people who love and care about you smiling, it’s a great feeling,” he says. “But you might almost be a little overwhelmed with gratitude. And if you're overwhelmed, you might have trouble remembering what you wanted to say, who you wanted to thank, compliment, or tease. You can head that possibility off with a bit of preparation.”
Rehearse Your Remarks
Practice your toast at home before debuting it to the crowd. To get the full effect, consider recording yourself on your phone. Make sure your voice is clear, you’re standing up straight, and you look confident, even if you’re nervous. “In the run-up to your wedding, it’s not easy to make time to rehearse, but if you can, the best and most efficient way to rehearse is to record it and then watch it back,” Sweeney says. “It can be a little uncomfortable, but the feedback is immediate, so you’ll know what you want to adjust right then and there.”
Consider Logistics
Your words are important, but so is how you deliver them. Will you be standing at your table or in the center of the room? Will you be on a stage? Are you using a microphone? Think about your positioning before the big day.
If you will be using a microphone, Sweeney recommends practicing your toast with a TV remote to get used to holding an object.
Keep It Concise
There’s a lot going on on your wedding day, so don’t stress about giving a lengthy speech in addition to everything else on your plate. Sweeney says aim for something between two and five minutes.
When to Give a Newlywed Toast
While the father-of-the-bride and best-man speeches typically take place after dinner and before the dancing commences, Sweeney recommends giving your newlywed toast at the beginning of the reception. “You’d be hard-pressed to find a culture that doesn’t have some tradition of expressing thanks before a meal,” he says. “This is one of those occasions when you’re likely to viscerally understand exactly why that is, which makes it a great moment to pipe up.”
Giving your toast right before dinner also means you get it out of the way, which is great if you’re susceptible to those pre-speech jitters. You could also consider giving your speech at the end of cocktail hour or at a welcome event before the wedding day, Sweeney suggests. (Just make sure all of your guests are present.)
5 Tips When Giving a Newlywed Toast
Need a bit of advice before giving your speech as the bride or groom? Here, Sweeney offers five key tips to remember.
Speak Clearly and Slowly
This tip is applicable to everyone—even if you’ve got a microphone in your hand. Don’t make it hard for your guests to hear you or rush through your words; put on your best public-speaking voice and take your time.
Limit Your Drinking Before the Speech
You’ll probably want to toast with a glass of champagne or something festive, but try not to drink too much before your speech. The last thing you want is to accidentally slur your works or go on an inadvertent tangent.
Handle Mistakes Like a Professional
“If there is a mistake—you flub a line, the mic doesn’t work, you slip a little because you haven’t pre-scuffed your new shoes—the most professional thing to do is to laugh at yourself, support each other, and roll with it like it’s all part of the show,” Sweeney says. “As long as you project comfort with the ‘mistake,’ the crowd will be comfortable too. If anything, it will endear you to the audience even more, which is saying something on your wedding day.”
Don’t Try Too Hard to Be Funny
Not everyone is a comedian! Remember: It’s your wedding, not a stand-up comedy show. Be yourself, and don’t force jokes if they don’t feel authentic.
Give Your Guests Some Directions
Will you be transitioning from cocktail hour to dinner after your speech? Are you moving into the dancing portion of the reception? Do you want everyone to raise their glasses and clink them together? If there’s anything your guests need to know about the next event in the wedding, add it to your toast.
Newlywed Reception Toast Examples to Make Your Own
To help you get a feel of how all those tips and guidelines come together, consider some of these real-life examples.
"Kat and I wanted to say a few words today. We know it hasn’t been easy. In the best of times, a wedding invitation comes with an implied to-do list—a happy one, but let’s be honest, it’s a to-do list. So, we can’t say enough how grateful and flattered we are that you consider us worth the effort." —Heather
"Without this sounding too much like an awards ceremony, there are a few people I’d like to thank. First, my sister, Sam. She’s been a constant source of support throughout my life. She’s the strongest, most resilient person I know. She’s also the one of the kindest. She’s helped me plan and re-plan so many parts of this wedding. And no good award speech would be complete without thanking one’s parents! Not a day goes by that I’m not acutely aware of their love and support.
And even better than that, they’re a lot of fun to be with. Mom and Dad, I don’t know what I did to deserve you. I know there are times you’ve thought the same of me with a slightly different emphasis perhaps, but I am immensely proud to call myself your daughter. To Jo, Ben and Frasier, thank you for folding me so completely into your family. Jo, you have one more woman on your team! The numbers are still a bit lopsided, but we’ll get there! Truly, you are the kindest, most welcoming in-laws I could ask for, and I look forward to celebrating many more happy occasions with you." —Tia
"Dave, I know we took our vows during the ceremony, but I’d like to end with a few more. I promise to always be there when you need me. I promise to make sure you always feel safe and loved. I promise to continue pretending to enjoy and understand all sports you make me watch. (I might regret this.) And I promise to always be willing to negotiate a back scratch. Now before I go into my ugly cry, would you all raise your glass to my wonderful new husband? To Dave!" —Cynthia
