"I actually think this is the most stressful event of my life," the original poster lamented.
Published on July 24, 2025 10:35AM
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Key Takeaways
- One woman says she and her husband were invited to a child-free destination wedding for her partner's cousin that would cost each person over $1,000. They—and many other family members—had to decline the invitation due to costs.
- The bride-to-be has been asking everyone if they've "figured out" a way to attend, causing guests a great deal of stress.
- The woman posted about the experience on Reddit and asked if weddings are meant to be this stressful for guests. The internet—and BRIDES editors—agreed that this shouldn't be the case.
Weddings are meant to be a lot of different things: emotional, celebratory, and fun. What they're not supposed to be? Stressful, and that's especially true for guests. As ceremonies and receptions become more and more involved, spanning over multiple days, and requiring flights and special attire for wedding attendees, guests are feeling less excited about weddings and more stressed out.
Case in point? One recent Reddit post, in which someone invited to a wedding posed the question "Are weddings supposed to be this stressful for the guests?" on the company's r/weddingplanning thread. The original poster noted that she and her husband were invited to a destination wedding for one of his cousins. Unfortunately, they couldn't afford the cost of attendance, which the OP noted was over $1,000 per person. To make things more complicated, it is set to be a child-free wedding, so even if they could find the funds to cover the cost of travel, they'd be forced to also pay for childcare at home or find a sitter in a foreign country.
"Basically she is having a destination wedding and no one can go. Like, any member of her family," the OP explained. "Her own mom can't even go. I think her dad is trying to scrape it together to go but her mom is obviously very upset about the whole thing. I think thats what started [sic] the big issues in the first place."
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The guest went on to note that the entire experience has been extremely stressful for her. "When I tell you we've had no end of drama. Crying, fighting, begging. I actually think this is the most stressful event of my life and I've been through some s***," she wrote. "Every day she's asking of anyone has 'figured out' finances yet. She's upset because we've known about the wedding for so long (despite her only informing us a few months ago that it would even be a destination wedding). Everyone is half way between being angry at her and being upset that they're gonna miss it."
This led her to ask Reddit if it's normal for weddings to be this stressful for guests. The internet's response? While it's certainly not "normal," it has become more and more common. "I think this happens way more than people realize with destination weddings," one user responded. Another added, "No, this is not normal. Unfortunately she has company though." One more Reddit user summed it up quite simply: "Not normal. Weddings are not supposed to be stressful on anyone."
The editors at BRIDES agree that a wedding shouldn't be stressful for your family members and friends—they're there to celebrate your union, and part of your role as a bride or groom is to host your attendees. If guests can't make it due to costs, it's up to you to decide if a destination wedding is worth the tradeoff of not having loved ones there.
