A Complete Guide to Groom Wedding Responsibilities

In order to build a solid foundation for your marriage, you should treat your engagement as practice for your lifelong partnership, and make everything involving your wedding a joint effort. Naturally, one person in the relationship will want to take the lead when it comes to planning, but as the groom, no matter what level of involvement you wish to have, you should always lend a hand when coordinating your big day.

According to Alexa Blanco, founder and lead planner of Alexa Blanco Weddings, a groom's role in the wedding planning process is to help alleviate any stress his partner might feel. "Wedding planning is, without doubt, one of the most beautiful and significant seasons most couples will experience in their lifetime," she shares. "As the groom, one of your main responsibilities is to make sure your [partner] feels appreciated for all [their] hard work during the wedding planning, and try to make it up by using any excuse to do things together." Simple enough, right?

For those unsure of how to help their partner, however, we put together a simple guide to help break down every task you need to complete before, during, and after walking down the aisle. Following the continued advice from Blanco, here are the most important responsibilities every groom should know when gearing up to say "I do."

Groom Responsibilities Before the Wedding

No matter your level of interest in wedding planning, these early stages are when you should be the most involved. Specifically, every important aspect of your celebration should be a joint decision that can accommodate both your and your partner's needs. But for those who are curious as to what the most important tasks are, keep reading below for five responsibilities every groom should complete before the big day.

Set a Budget

When it comes to the budget, you and your partner will have to agree on where the money will be coming from and how much you'll want to spend. Blanco notes that the wedding planning process can "easily go from 'beautiful and significant' to 'stressful and tiring' when money becomes an issue." Further noting, "Just like in any healthy marriage, money is also an important matter to be discussed before and during the wedding planning process, especially if the couple is taking care of all the wedding expenses. Establishing a budget and agreeing to it, together, will ensure a smooth and seamless booking experience which will ultimately lead to a happy and stress-free wedding week, with no last-minute surprise expenses. 

As for who pays for what, tradition dictates that the bride’s family should cover the wedding, while the groom’s family covers the rehearsal dinner. However, anything goes in modern times and this decision is ultimately a personal choice. Many couples are now opting to take on a bulk of the costs themselves, while others choose to accept some sort of contribution from their parents that can be spent however they prefer (like on the wedding, or, perhaps, on the down payment on a house).

Contribute to the Guest List

Who are your must-haves on both sides? Who makes the second tier or "do not invite" list? Contributing to the guest list will ultimately help determine your venue, so be sure to give your input in this specific area.

"Organizing the guest list is probably one of the least favorite tasks in the planning process. But imagine finally making it to your wedding day, only to find a bunch of strangers congratulating you as you walk down the aisle," says Blanco. "Not so cool, right? For better or for worse, the people attending your wedding will have a great impact on the event itself. In order to get it right, this is definitely something the [couple] should be fully invested in doing together."

Find Vendors

The vendors you choose to work with have the ability to make or break your celebration, so be sure you and your partner work together to decide on everything within this category. For instance, do some research on where you'd want to get married. Your venue impacts so many other aspects of your wedding—like your date, maximum guest count, catering, ambiance, etc.—so it’s crucial to pick a location you personally like.

Want to work with a wedding planner? Interested in a band, DJ, or both? Be sure to also share these thoughts with your partner, in order to come to an agreement or compromise on the elements you'd like to see on the big day.

Establish the Overall Vibes

Whether you want to get married outside the country or smack dab in the city, selecting a wedding style that reflects aspects of your personality (ones that complement your partner, as well) will ensure you're both excited to plan your celebration. What's more, don't skip out on any appointments, and be sure to give feedback when needed, as your input will have a great impact on the overall vibes for your ceremony, reception, and everything else in between.

Ask Your Friends to Be a Groomsman

It is always a groom’s responsibility to ask his friends whether or not they'd like to be a groomsman. Additionally, your wedding party should include the people you're most close with, specifically the ones you're currently in contact with and individuals you plan to be friends with in the future.

Unsure of how to ask your crew if they'd like to stand by your side? Consider giving them a card and a bottle of whiskey, or, at the bare minimum, giving them a phone call. It's also important to relay any important travel plans and large expenses they might be required to make, as this will allow them to decide whether or not they can afford to be in the wedding.

Groom Responsibilities on the Wedding Day

"It is very common to assume the groom has no responsibilities on the wedding day, besides, of course, showing up on time for the wedding," notes Blanco. However, that's not the case! From giving out gifts to greeting guests, here are the top tasks all grooms should do on the day of their wedding.

Plan a Group Activity

If your ceremony is scheduled to take place in the evening, consider planning a morning-of activity like golf or brunch. Another tip? Don't forget to include your spouse's father and close family members when organizing this event. No matter what outing you choose to plan, however, it's absolutely important that you don't let this activity get in the way of showing up to the altar on time.

Give Out Groomsmen Gifts

If you plan on handing out groomsmen gifts, the morning of your wedding would be the best time to complete this task. Anything from a watch to a card and even a bottle of tequila is acceptable, as this is simply a way to say thank you to your closest pals. The best part? These gifts don't need to be expensive or extravagant.

Arrive on Time

This may seem like an obvious responsibility, but a groom's number one job on the big day is to arrive on time for the wedding. This means having a clear understanding of the timeline of events, and monitoring the clock in order to stay on track throughout the day. What's more, if you're someone who's notoriously late to everything, ask your best man or groomsmen to serve as accountability partners, so that you make it down the aisle to marry the love of your life.

Show Your Appreciation

"The wedding reception is all about two things: Having the time of your life and showing your appreciation. Whether you do it through a 'thank you speech' or going table by table expressing your gratitude, make sure your guests know how you feel," shares Blanco. She also notes that thanking guests should be a task you and your partner do together, and "if you don't want it to take much from your 'dancing time,' my advice is that you include it on the timeline and set an exact timing for this. That way you'll be more efficient with your time management and have enough time to dance the night out until your feet hurt."

Support Your Partner

Your role as your partner's support system doesn't end just because you've said "I do." According to Blanco, a groom should be the one to help ensure that his partner is eating during the reception (it's common for many couples to forget to eat on their wedding day), and to alleviate any stress or nerves his partner might have. Another way to show support? Don't forget to send your partner a little gift before you both walk down the aisle.

Have Fun

Be sure to have fun and enjoy every second of your big day. This is one of the most important experiences of your life, so have a blast and live in the moment. Also, don't forget your role on the dance floor! The mother-son dance will be when you take center stage, but make sure to dance with the bridesmaids, maid or matron of honor, and your new mother-in-law, too.

Groom Responsibilities After the Wedding

"Now this is where it gets really fun! Your first few days as a married couple will only happen once so make them count," shares Blanco. And according to the planner, the below tasks are the top priorities a groom should remember after tying the knot.

• Send thank you notes to your wedding vendors and guests.
• Collect wedding photos and videos from your guests.
• Follow up on anybody in charge of returning any rented clothing items (make sure you assign this before the wedding day).

In regards to the honeymoon, though some traditionalists might say it’s the groom’s responsibility to handle this trip, that’s definitely no longer the case. Tackle your travels like you did during the wedding planning process: decide the big things (destination, budget, time of year) together, then divide the rest of the tasks according to what you’re each passionate about. If your partner handled most of the wedding planning, however, it's a nice gesture to coordinate the travel. One final piece of advice? "And last but not least, pop a bottle of champagne and enjoy the after-wedding bliss," advises Blanco.