In addition to being a symbol of your love and commitment to your partner, your engagement ring is likely one of the most significant purchases you’ll make as a couple. Regardless of whether your future spouse wants to cover the cost of your sparkler on their own or you both decide to put funds toward the piece, selecting the diamond you want is an incredibly important decision. As a result, you two may decide to go engagement ring shopping together, viewing and trying on various jewels in an attempt to find the perfect one for you and your style.
While you may find yourself primarily focused on the cut, carat size, and cost of a sparkler, there are many other factors to consider when it comes to choosing such a piece. Before you head to the jeweler or start booking virtual appointments, it’s important to think about how your ring will fit into your lifestyle. For example, if you’re an active person, you may want to avoid diamonds in a high setting, as such a stone is typically more prone to catching on something. You may be particularly stressed about having to take care of your diamond—and decide to look for a low-maintenance jewel that won’t require you to tend to it constantly. Ultimately, these elements, as well as your style, budget, and priorities, are all details to think about—and discuss with your partner—before committing to a ring.
Below, three jewelers explain all of the factors to consider before going engagement ring shopping, as well as three common mistakes to avoid. Read on for everything you need to know.
8 Key Things to Consider Before Going Engagement Ring Shopping
Heading out to the jeweler—or even browsing virtually—marks a significant step in you and your partner's relationship. However, before you reserve time on your calendar for such a task, there are a few elements you should discuss. Here, the experts explain eight key considerations to keep in mind.
The 4Cs
As you start searching for the perfect sparkler, it’s important to consider the 4Cs: clarity, color, cut, and carat weight. While it’s easy to zero in on the size of a jewel, Neil Dutta, the managing director of Angelic Diamonds, says it’s just as critical to evaluate its quality.
Ring Maintenance
Your engagement ring is likely something you’ll want to wear on a daily basis. As a result, your lifestyle should be a key factor in the diamond you select. “Just because something looks great on a website, or even if it looks great in the store on your hand, doesn't mean that you're going to want to wear that every day for the rest of your life,” says Kegan Fisher, the founder of Frank Darling. If wearability is a priority for you, she suggests avoiding rings that require a lot of maintenance, including bezel settings, cluster sparklers, and thin or soft metal bands.
In-Person vs. Online Shopping
Years ago, couples needed to go to a jeweler in person to see a ring. However, nowadays, you and your partner can browse options online, as many retailers offer virtual appointments. Yet, whether or not you purchase your sparkler from an online retailer will depend on the shopping experience you’re seeking. If you’re intimidated by traditional showrooms or looking for a way to cut back on costs, Dutta recommends heading to the internet. “Generally, online retailers tend to be a lot more cost effective than the high street stores just because they have less overheads,” he says. Julio Velasquez, the owner of G.V. Jewelry in Chicago, adds that couples should use the internet as a starting point for ring browsing. “Get some inspiration, and then absolutely [go in person to] see those things that you’re seeing,” he says. “You can’t really get an idea of how big it is in a picture.”
Unconventional Center Stones
Not all gemstones are created equally. For example, Velasquez cautions against using emerald as a center stone for a long-lasting ring. “[Emeralds] are not as hard as they seem,” he says. “In practice, they do break, especially stones with corners.” If you are interested in a green gemstone, he recommends considering an Australian green sapphire. Know that some gemstones look different online than they do in person, Fisher says. As a result, if you’re unsure about a particular jewel, make an appointment to see it.
Band Metal
Yes, gold bands are the trend-forward selection of the moment. However, if you’re interested in such a metal, remember that yellow gold can reflect in the center diamond, affecting its color appearance. For people who want that “icy white stone” look, Fisher recommends getting a two-tone band, which can also increase the durability of your ring.
Lab-Grown vs. Natural Diamonds
One of the most important factors to consider is whether you want a lab-grown or natural diamond. The difference between the two simply lies in their creation: Natural stones are from the earth, while lab-grown jewels are created in a factory setting. The latter tends to typically be a more cost-effective approach.
Center Stone Size
It can be tempting to get the largest jewel you can afford, but Velasquez says that a bigger stone can oftentimes be prohibitive to daily life. “It’s a personal question. For some people, too big is 2.7 carats,” he says. “Some people are more conservative, more active. They want something closer to the finger to go anywhere and do anything.” However, regardless of how many carats your center stone is, Dutta says that it’s crucial for your diamond to be securely set in your ring. Without such a setting, you may risk your center stone getting loose—or even falling out.
Ring Upgrades
While upgrading your ring is always an option, experts say it’s still important that you choose a piece that you can imagine yourself loving forever. “Some people have ideas that are not possible to do with an existing ring,” Dutta says. “If you’ve got, say, a 0.5-carat diamond, and you say, ‘I want to go for a 1.5- or 2-carat,’ you can’t just change the diamonds, because that ring will have been specifically made to hold a smaller diamond.”
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3 Common Mistakes People Make When Engagement Ring Shopping
Even if you’ve done countless hours of research, it’s easy to make a mistake when looking for your perfect ring. Below, the experts explain common errors to avoid when heading to the jeweler.
Opting for Softer Gemstones
Other than emeralds, Velasquez does not recommend any gemstone that is too soft, such as pearl or opal—unless you’re comfortable with upgrading the stone every few years. “There are reasons why diamonds and sapphires are the most common center stones, because they last forever,” he says.
Selecting a Fragile Metal Band
All three experts warn against getting a band that’s too thin. “1.8 or 2 millimeters is a really healthy place to be,” Fisher says. Bands thinner than that can bend or break after a few months. A band that is too soft can also be problematic in the long run. “I would stick to at least 10-karat white gold if you’re looking for a silver metal, and if you’re looking for a gold medal, you should probably stick to at least 14-karat gold,” Velasquez says. Platinum is also a great option for white bands, Dutta adds. “Silver’s quite a soft metal, so it’s not very good for engagement rings where you’re going to set a diamond in it.”
Purchasing a Ring With No Gallery Rail
Fisher refuses to set a diamond in four prongs without a gallery rail. “Inevitably, one of those prongs is going to catch on something,” she says. “And usually, if that were to happen, the gallery rail would still hold them together, whereas if you don't have the gallery rail, what happens is, one of those prong snags, and now you lose your stone.”


