After you and your partner get engaged, your attention may quickly shift to planning your wedding. In addition to determining your preferred date and budget, hiring a planner may be one of the first decisions that you make in the process. The person you select to fulfill such a job is an important choice, as they'll be in charge of guiding your vendor selection, determining your design, and coordinating all of the details tied to your celebration. "A great planner is your strategic partner, creative director, logistics master, etiquette translator, and trusted confidante (sometimes all in one day)," says Kate Turner, the founder and creative director of Kate & Co. "Our job is to help you make smart, confident decisions, and then bring them to life beautifully and seamlessly."
Meet the Expert
- Michelle Norwood is a wedding planner, event designer, and the owner of Michelle Norwood Events.
- Beth Helmstetter is the founder and creative director of Beth Helmstetter Events, a full-service event-planning studio in Los Angeles.
- Kate Turner is the founder and creative Director of Kate & Co.
However, even though your wedding planner is there to help guide you through the process, there are some tasks and to-dos that you shouldn't assign to them. "While we wear many hats, there are boundaries to protect both the integrity of the event and the health of the planning relationship," says Beth Helmstetter, the founder and creative director of Beth Helmstetter Events. "You shouldn't expect your planner to negotiate financial terms directly with family members, take on tasks outside their scope like legal advice, therapy, personal errands or tasks, DIY projects, or work beyond agreed hours without prior discussion."
Below, the experts explain the six tasks you should always ask for your planner's assistance with—and the five you shouldn't. Read on for everything you need to know.
6 Tasks You Should Ask Your Wedding Planner to Do
Your wedding planner plays a key role in many of the aspects tied to your big day. Here, experts explain six of the tasks you should turn to them for assistance with.
Managing Your Vendors
From the caterer and bartender to the florist and cake designer, there are a number of different vendors you'll work with in the lead-up to your wedding, as well as on the actual day itself. All of the experts agree: Your wedding planner is there to help you cultivate and manage these relationships. Instead of wading through the contracts and email confirmations by yourself, turn to them for their expertise and guidance.
Addressing Timeline Concerns
Figuring out the timeline for your celebration can be complicated—and overwhelming. This is one of the key to-dos you should turn to your wedding planner for. "A planner acts as a strategic partner—someone who not only helps conceptualize and execute your vision but also ensures everything runs smoothly behind the scenes," says Michelle Norwood, a wedding planner and the owner of Michelle Norwood Events.
Developing Your Design
Your planner's vision for your affair may have been one of the reasons you were initially drawn to their work. And even if you already had a design in your head, they can help you execute your plan. "[A] misconception is that hiring a planner means you’ll lose control of your wedding vision, when in fact, a good planner helps bring that vision to life more seamlessly than you could on your own—while protecting you from burnout," Norwood says.
Providing Guidance on Etiquette
Unsure of how to set the right dress code for your nuptials? Or what to say in your request for gifts? Turn to your wedding planner for assistance on proper etiquette. They'll be able to ensure that you approach things in an acceptable manner, avoiding any awkward blunders.
Determining Your Priorities
Figuring out how to divide up your wedding budget can often be one of the most stressful tasks. Luckily, your planner can help you determine where to spend your money and which aspects are the most important to you and your partner.
Attending to the Details
Before, during, and after your wedding, there are many minor details to attend to. Your planner helps take care of all of them, ensuring everything goes smoothly. "When problems arise, whether it's a layout conflict or a delay in delivery, your planner is the one who finds a solution without you ever having to lift a finger," Norwood says. "They act as the calm in the chaos and the glue holding every moving part together."
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5 Tasks You Can't Ask Your Wedding Planner to Do
"While we’re deeply involved in just about every detail, there are a few things that fall outside our lane, and that’s by design," Turner says. "It's important to understand those for everyone’s benefit." Read on for the five tasks you shouldn't ask your planner to do.
Booking Guest Travel
Even though your wedding planner may have suggested—or even found—a hotel for your guests to stay at for your celebration, it's not their job to assist your loved ones with booking their accommodations, Turner says. If you think that some of your attendees may need support with such details, list a travel agent to be a point of contact for them.
Managing Your Pets
Many modern couples opt to integrate their pet into their wedding ceremony. Maybe you decide to have your dog serve as your ring bearer—or your cat greet guests as they enter the venue. However, it's important to tap someone other than your planner to manage your furry friend on the big day, Turner says. Between all of the other details and logistics, your planner won't have the time or the ability to also take care of your beloved animal.
Bartending or Clearing Tables
Even though your planner may be famous for their spicy margarita, they shouldn't be expected to mix drinks on the day of your nuptials, Turner says. Contract the appropriate number of bartenders, servers, and waitstaff for your celebration. Stuck on how many people to hire? Ask your planner for assistance—that's exactly what they're ready to help with.
Working Through Relationship Issues
While you may feel incredibly close to your planner, know that they're not able to handle relationship issues between you and your partner—or you and your family. Yet, in some cases, they may be able to refer you to someone who can, such as a licensed mental health counselor.
Going on Random Errands
"You shouldn’t expect your planner to run personal errands, pick up dry cleaning, or act as a personal assistant," Norwood says. "These tasks fall outside the scope of professional planning services. While planners are incredibly hands-on and deeply invested in your event's success, their expertise lies in strategy, design, logistics, and execution—not in day-to-day errands."
